if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize