I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
