Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
