Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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