If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
