i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
