and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
