I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize