make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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