Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we're so committed to being not committed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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