I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
