I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
