Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
