Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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