And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love having hate sex.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
