Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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