I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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