i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You can't special order awesome
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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