I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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