24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
