why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
