Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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