i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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