Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
