No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
