he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
