Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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