Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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