Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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