oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize