Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
