Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
