Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
