You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
