hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize