Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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