Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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