evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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