Duck Duck Cougar?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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