Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
