just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
