I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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