If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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