You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
