Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
