I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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