He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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