and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is Oprah even human
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
