my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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