Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
