i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
