I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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