This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
