Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
