All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
